Optimism

 Allen drug himself into the bar and pulled himself up to his favorite stool next to Zander. 

“Whoa,” Zander said. “It looks to me you’ve been run through the wringer twice. There ain’t enough left of you to bury.”

“It’s been a bad week,” Allen said.

“Couldn’t have been that bad,” Zander said.

“My wife left me for another man. My dog got ran over by a car. My son will be in juvy for six months. My daughter told me she’s pregnant. I’m three months behind on my house payment. My car was repoed in the middle of the night. I got fired today. The IRS wants to audit me.”

“You need to have a positive outlook on things,” Zander said. He slid his half-full glass in front of Allen. 

“I suppose you’re going to pull that is the glass half full or half empty crap on me,” Allen said. 

“No,” Zander said. “That’s how pessimists think. They want you to think it's water. The optimist pours his glass half full or half empty of vodka. It makes no difference. Just remember it’s not how much is in the glass, it’s what is in the glass.”

Allen smiled. “You mind if I have a sip?”

“No,” Zander said. “Take a good one.”

Allen slowly wrapped his fingers around the glass. He brought it toward his lips and as he did his eyes shifted to Zander. Allen smiled appreciatively. He downed a quick swig. “It’s water!”

Zander smiled. “But for a moment or two, you felt pretty good didn’t you?”

“Yeah, Zander, you know how to lift a guy's spirits,” Allen said. “Things will work out.”

“Sure,” Zander assured. “You’ll get a new dog. Your son will get out of juvy. You’ll have a beautiful grandchild to hold. That house was too much for you anyway. You’ll get another car. You’ll find another job. Make a deal with the IRS to take your house.”

“What about my wife?” Allen said.

“Just have her mail sent to my place,” Zander said.